I would just like to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who has genuinely and selflessly helped us the past couple months through the end of this pregnancy and with the twins being in the nicu, financially and emotionally.

We would not like anymore help. I cannot handle the added pressure of feeling like I owe everyone back as well as the comments made behind my back about the "drama" my life is or my lack of responsibility or ability to care for myself or my children.

We are at a point in our lives right now where we cannot physically or financially go see our boys everyday in the hospital. I am a stay at home mom to Ethan and we get Xavier now. I am responsible for getting and picking him up from school when he's here, feeding/bathing/clothing/changing/putting Ethan down for a nap. We only have one car, and Tim works as much as he can for our family but it isn't enough to make a 60 mile round trip to Springfield every day to visit our boys, supply us with a home, pay all our bills, and provide all the necessary things for our 4 boys as well as ourselves.

So don't ask for daily updates. I will update on here when I can see my children to update. Don't try to offer advice unless you've been in a situation where you have had children and they've been away from you for weeks and there is nothing you can do or say to change that and you cannot financially be with them everyday, even just to visit.


Before you take offense and become offended by what I'm writing, please understand that none of you live in the hell we've been living in the past three weeks being away from two of our children, facing the fact that one will probably be severely disabled, trying to juggle a way to visit them as much as we can, and trying to provide a normal stable life for our other two.

We know we need a better source of income, we know we need a van do our entire family can ride in the same car, we know we need a larger, ground floor place to live.

I cannot ask you enough to quit reminding us of everything we need to change and have done wrong and still need to do, and try to be sympathetic to what we are going through. This is possibly the most trying time in our lives and we need genuine support, not help from people who regret it, feel forced into it, and complain and talk about is behind our backs.

I will update about the boys as soon as we are able to see them again. Yesterday we had to take Xavier to school and pick him up for an early for an early dismissal and only have our one car, so we did not get much time with the boys.

Gavin is up to 4lbs 3.7oz, and is being weaned out of his isolate into an open air crib, and is beginning to nipple on a bottle. Last night he was so excited to taste breast milk he sloppily ate 20ml of his 36ml feeding :) they didn't feed it all in his bottle the first time because they didn't want him burning the calories were trying to get him to gain!

Gavin is up to 4lb 1oz now :) and they hadn't don't rounds yet when I called so I don't have any changes on him!

I won't be able to see the boys today. We have to use what gas we have left to take Ethan to his 1 yr check up today at 1:30p and he gets a million shots. Ethan will be grumpy and always runs a fever. and Tim works 4-8p so Er will miss our chances to hold them at their 2, 5, and 8p feedings. :( plus after Tim gets off we won't have a baby sitter for their 11p feeding or the gas to make a second trip into town, especially the same day.

So I'll have no new pictures today but soon hopefully!

Those are Tim and gabe the other day