Day 2 post op.

I am sore from laying in the bed at the hotel. My family is stressed at home. Ethan is overwhelming for just Tim and is having a really hard time adjusting to me not being there. When Tim called this morning all I could hear was Ethan wailing at the top of his lungs and it breaks my heart I'm not there to comfort him. I know I'm here to take care of these two little guys in my belly and myself so they can make it but I just want to be able to do it at home, where Ethan can sit on my lap and lay next to me at naptime. I know we only have today, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday I have tests from 8am-3pm then we are free to go if all looks well, but I am so ready to be home now. I am lonely without them and miss Tim and Ethan. I went from a 24 hour a day parent to not seeing my son or fiance :( I wish they would just do the post op tests at home in Springfield.

My incision site doesn't really hurt. It did a little at about 4am when I woke up and was laying on my back. The skin was pulling arond the sutchers making it uncomfortable. This medication blows. I have like 4 hours a day I feel normal. It's like hours 1-hot flashes, flushed face, racing heart, hour 2-dizzy, light headed, sweaty hands and feet, hour 3- I finally feel normal, hour 4- -hot flashes, flushed face, racing heart start again, and hour 5-its all of that plus killer nausea. Then its time to take the medicine again. I feel like I'm running a marathon. My heartrate is like 130bpm. I just wish I was home to take some of the stress off Tim. I know not being able to do anything but just being there to see them and help him out by telling him where things are and how I do them would make things so much easier for him. This starting a new job, worrying about bills, and taking care of Ethan alone and getting Xavier during the day is just beyond overwhelming for him and he's about ready to pull his year out.

It's been 6 days since I've seen him and I don't really want to wait any longer. I just want to close my eyes and wake up Tuesday to hear everything will be ok and that we can go home.

My aunt Cathy is getting Ethan today for a little while so Tim can have a break before work. But of course he has to go see the landlord, cash his tiny check for his first day, and do a few other things instead of just taking the much needed break he needs and deserves before he works 3-midnight. I just feel useless.