A day in the life

I have been terrible about updating out blog as of recently. Our day to day life is nothing short of a wild roller coaster ride, the main goal being keeping all four of my lovely boys alive, second to feeding, bathing, clothing, and entertaining them. :)

Having three under three and a sort of big seven year old helper has been interesting. Gavin and Gabe still have therapy daily, Xavier has biweekly baseball games and normal summer adventures, and Ethan is keeping me on my toes with his intent on being a part of everything mama has going on.

The twins are still getting physical, speech, occupational, developmental therapies and seeing a nutritionist all once weekly. It keeps us very busy along with all our specialty doctors appointments and just keeping our day to day life straight.

Gavin will be 2 years old August 2nd. That is when they stop adjusting age. For all the new readers he has Spastic Quadriplegic Cerebral Palsy secondary to Periventricular Leukomalacia. He also suffers from GERD, vicious cycle constipation, diphagia, aspiration, and sensory issues. He is still being orally fed. We are successfully bi-passed the feeding tube for the past 6 months and hopefully we keep on the up and up and can orally eat the rest of our lives. :) He is now 34 1/2 inches tall and 23lbs 8oz. He is starting to sit independently for short periods of time. He is really enjoying his borrowed Squiggles Stander and Rifton Pacer while we wait for our own. Our therapists and doctors have also ordered him his first wheel chair, a Kid Kart. Hopefully having a tilt in space chair with a tray will allow him to work on his fine motor skills while feeling safe in a supported environment. He has definitely mastered the art of the belly crawl and can now belly crawl over objects, turn around, and back himself out of corners. He is starting to say 2 words together and can now spontaneously say about 20-30 words. :) He is still very hoarse and does still have motor planning issues when it comes to his speech so sometimes it may take 2 or 3 tries before the words come out. Today he was crawling around saying "ga... gabe....gabe...break it."

Gabe is everywhere! We are now a walker. He still has lot of tone issues in his hip abductors, knees, ankles and toes. He has successfully over come his upper body tone/ While still there, he can functionally use both arms for age appropriate tasks smoothly now. He still has a lot of balance and coordination issues. We have lots of bumps and bruises. He is still having feeding difficulties as well. We are still on a level 1 nipple and have to thicken to nectar consistency. He still swallows just about everything whole and doesn't have the best sensory control and often overstuffs when it comes to meals. He is growing like a weed though at just shy of 35 inches and 28 lbs. While hes 5lbs heavier then Gav they really don't physically look different. The CP clinic doctors just explained that Gabes muscle mass weighs more.

Ethan is a little turkey. We are about completely potty trained as we approach his 3rd birthday. We are peeing in the potty during the day and wear a pull up still at night. Most days he wakes up dry, but I think he just wants them for security. He gets very emotional with accidents.

Xavier is keeping us busy with his 7 year old antics. We are dawned the age of sarcasm in our home. Xavier just "looooves to do his chores." :) It is bitter sweet seeing our little boy grow up. It is so exciting the skills, questions, and conversations he initiates now but it is sad that he doesn't think he needs our help anymore. It really makes me sad how much kids his age are exposed to and how fast he is growing up. It really makes me think even harder about homeschooling the three little guys.

As for Tim and I, we are getting married June 21st so we are been in the midst of wedding planning. :) We are having a small wedding with about 80 people. It should be a good time. I have also planted a massive garden this year. I am determined to bring the homestead to our small home, even if we are in a small rental. Our Landlord has been very gracious in letting me plant a 14x30ft garden at the back of our lot and scatter by containers and raised frame beds around the property. This year is my first year gardening and I hope we are able to can enough to supplement part of our grocery bill this summer through spring. Tim is currently trying to find new employment and we now make too much money to get assistance with the boys so we are sort of stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Food stamps used to supplement the Pediasure the boys drink. Now we have to find a way to pay for it and food out of pocket with less money then we had before. It all seems so backwards.

In my garden this year I have planted: sunflowers, wild flowers, garlic, pumpkins, radishes, carrots, cucumbers, jalapenos, cherry tomatoes, potatoes, beans, broccoli, spinach, lettuce, strawberries, corn, onions, 4 tomato varieties, red bell peppers, green bell peppers, sweet basil, purple basil, oregano, sweet mint, lavender, a raspberry vine, and a blueberry bush. This month I plan to add sweet potatoes, water melon, winter squash, pumpkins, more corn and beans for a later harvest, and to replant my lettuce. I am also hoping to plant a second fall garden after we harvest and turn over this one in late August. I plan on planting beets, more broccoli, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, peas, lettuce, turnips, garlic, kale, and a second set of spinach. My spinach is currently bolted to seed so hopefully I can successfully harvest it in order to replant.

We are also trying to cut costs this year by hopefully buying a deep freezer. That way we can can some of our produce and freeze the rest. If we get a deep freezer we will probably also buy half a cow from a local farmer.

I am also trying to work into our tiny over stretched budget a clothesline. We currently have a clothes drying rack we were gifted (from my mom :) ) that we use daily but we really need a large line for the 6 of our clothing, towels, and linens. It would save tremendously on electric and help our clothes last longer as well. I registered for one or if we get money for the wedding that will be one of the first purchases :) fingers crossed.

I am officially down 40lbs since January. My blood pressure is now low to normal and I have a check up today. :)

I am also thinking about updating and revamping the blog. While it is mostly about the boys I would love to figure out how to categorize my posts with gardening, the boys, saving money, living green ect. So changes may be coming soon!

Finally a little good news for mama

In January of this year, just like every other year, I made my New Years revolution to lose weight. After having Ethan at the end August of 2011, and then quickly having the twins just 11 months later having the twins in the beginning of August 2012, I had seriously packed on the pounds. I had a hard time with motivation to fix myself because I was so hyper focused on the twins being preemies, the boys on going delays, and trying to raise a one year old at the same time!

 I am 5'11. Before I got pregnant with Ethan I was a comfortable 180lbs. I wore a size 10, sometimes 12, but I was comfortable in my skin. I had curves but a flat belly, and certainly no stretch marks or cottage cheese thighs. I gained 50lbs with Ethan, topping the scales at 230 in 2011. I breastfed Ethan and wasn't super concerned about dieting, just no longer overrating. 

Getting pregnant with the twins just four months later, I didn't have much time to worry about weightloss before the doctors were telling me I needed to gain another 15-20lbs and increase my calories by 400 a day because I was now carrying not one but two babies! 

When I delivered the twins I was at a chart topping 258lbs! Since they were born in 2012 I have gotten down about 15-20 lbs but it always popped right up again to the 250s. I was stressed and binge eating. Dealing with the boys cerebral palsy diagnosises and their over all developmental delays, dealing with Ethan's speech delay, all the therapies, doctors appointments, specialists. 

I was making zero time for me. I was drinking upwards of 6-7 cans of Mountain Dew or any other caffeinated beverage I could get my hands on. I was skipping breakfast for a soda, and sometimes lunch for a soda if the day got away from me. I was filling my body with empty calories and chemicals in lieu of what it really needed, love, care, and nutrition. 

Time had quickly gotten away from me.  On my birthday back in January, I had a panic attack. My family had to rush me to the ER because my blood pressure had shot up to 180/120. I felt like I was dying. Nauseous, shaky, scared, dizzy, tingly. I was convinced I had some chronic illness like diabetes or cancer. I had been feeling terrible and having extreme anxiety for weeks. They ran every test and said that there was nothing to medically explain the high blood pressure. I went to my general doctor two days later and he reran a full blood panel. Everything was perfect! Blood count, blood sugar, sodium, calcium, potassium, iron- all fantastic! Thyroid levels- great! So I was diagnosed with "benign essential hypertension." My doctor quickly shelled out beta blockers, and an anti-anxiety med to quickly slap a bandaid on a potentially life threatening situation if I left it out of control. 

That's when I knew, at 23 years old, mother of four, 256lbs, on blood pressure and anxiety meds my life needed to change. My dreams of living to 100 were quickly slipping away. I needed to do something and do it now. 

In January I gave up all caffeinated soda, cold turkey. I had the worst withdrawal symptoms. In combination from the nasty side effects the beta blockers gave me, I honestly felt worse then when I went to the hospital. Here I was feeling like I was coming off of some hardcore drug, home alone, taking care of my four children- it felt like living hell. I lost 8lbs.

In February I made the choice to actively avoid all processed foods. If there was a chemical in it, I didn't eat it. My grocery bill of course skyrocketed! I lost 6lbs.

In March after battling food sensitivities my entire life, and ignoring them, I made the choice to go gluten free, and am now strict about my kids food intake. We purchase no artificial dyes, all organic, and gluten free. We have implemented more fermented foods into our diet and have really been sticking to our fluid needs goals! The boys drink 35-40oz a day and I drink 100-120oz a day. I am keeping my net calories under 1400, some days i eat 2000 and go for a longer walk, some days I skip exercising for cleaning the house and only eat 1500 calories instead. After losing 15lbs in January and February I was able to wean myself completely off the blood pressure medication. I still take my bp 2-3 times a week and it's constantly between 110/70 when I'm calm and content and 125-85 is the highest it's been when I was stressed. I have also started working on 25 minutes of guided meditation daily. It has significantly helped me collect myself after a stressful day.

So far in march I have lost 7lbs.

Down a total of 21lbs in 9 weeks bashing my goal of 2lbs a week! I'm losing 2.3lbs a week :) I'm now down to 235.2lbs and as horrendous of a number as that is, and as mortifying as I am to put it out there I am freaking proud of myself. 

Each pound that falls off I vow never to let myself get this way again. My anxiety has gone from multiple daily severe panic attacks to once a week to once every two weeks having the feeling of anxiety when it is appropriate. I have been sleeping better and snoring less!! (Which Tim is SO happy about lol) I will keep everyone updated on my journey and May even start a weight loss blog with my meals and progress.