Finally a little good news for mama

In January of this year, just like every other year, I made my New Years revolution to lose weight. After having Ethan at the end August of 2011, and then quickly having the twins just 11 months later having the twins in the beginning of August 2012, I had seriously packed on the pounds. I had a hard time with motivation to fix myself because I was so hyper focused on the twins being preemies, the boys on going delays, and trying to raise a one year old at the same time!

 I am 5'11. Before I got pregnant with Ethan I was a comfortable 180lbs. I wore a size 10, sometimes 12, but I was comfortable in my skin. I had curves but a flat belly, and certainly no stretch marks or cottage cheese thighs. I gained 50lbs with Ethan, topping the scales at 230 in 2011. I breastfed Ethan and wasn't super concerned about dieting, just no longer overrating. 

Getting pregnant with the twins just four months later, I didn't have much time to worry about weightloss before the doctors were telling me I needed to gain another 15-20lbs and increase my calories by 400 a day because I was now carrying not one but two babies! 

When I delivered the twins I was at a chart topping 258lbs! Since they were born in 2012 I have gotten down about 15-20 lbs but it always popped right up again to the 250s. I was stressed and binge eating. Dealing with the boys cerebral palsy diagnosises and their over all developmental delays, dealing with Ethan's speech delay, all the therapies, doctors appointments, specialists. 

I was making zero time for me. I was drinking upwards of 6-7 cans of Mountain Dew or any other caffeinated beverage I could get my hands on. I was skipping breakfast for a soda, and sometimes lunch for a soda if the day got away from me. I was filling my body with empty calories and chemicals in lieu of what it really needed, love, care, and nutrition. 

Time had quickly gotten away from me.  On my birthday back in January, I had a panic attack. My family had to rush me to the ER because my blood pressure had shot up to 180/120. I felt like I was dying. Nauseous, shaky, scared, dizzy, tingly. I was convinced I had some chronic illness like diabetes or cancer. I had been feeling terrible and having extreme anxiety for weeks. They ran every test and said that there was nothing to medically explain the high blood pressure. I went to my general doctor two days later and he reran a full blood panel. Everything was perfect! Blood count, blood sugar, sodium, calcium, potassium, iron- all fantastic! Thyroid levels- great! So I was diagnosed with "benign essential hypertension." My doctor quickly shelled out beta blockers, and an anti-anxiety med to quickly slap a bandaid on a potentially life threatening situation if I left it out of control. 

That's when I knew, at 23 years old, mother of four, 256lbs, on blood pressure and anxiety meds my life needed to change. My dreams of living to 100 were quickly slipping away. I needed to do something and do it now. 

In January I gave up all caffeinated soda, cold turkey. I had the worst withdrawal symptoms. In combination from the nasty side effects the beta blockers gave me, I honestly felt worse then when I went to the hospital. Here I was feeling like I was coming off of some hardcore drug, home alone, taking care of my four children- it felt like living hell. I lost 8lbs.

In February I made the choice to actively avoid all processed foods. If there was a chemical in it, I didn't eat it. My grocery bill of course skyrocketed! I lost 6lbs.

In March after battling food sensitivities my entire life, and ignoring them, I made the choice to go gluten free, and am now strict about my kids food intake. We purchase no artificial dyes, all organic, and gluten free. We have implemented more fermented foods into our diet and have really been sticking to our fluid needs goals! The boys drink 35-40oz a day and I drink 100-120oz a day. I am keeping my net calories under 1400, some days i eat 2000 and go for a longer walk, some days I skip exercising for cleaning the house and only eat 1500 calories instead. After losing 15lbs in January and February I was able to wean myself completely off the blood pressure medication. I still take my bp 2-3 times a week and it's constantly between 110/70 when I'm calm and content and 125-85 is the highest it's been when I was stressed. I have also started working on 25 minutes of guided meditation daily. It has significantly helped me collect myself after a stressful day.

So far in march I have lost 7lbs.

Down a total of 21lbs in 9 weeks bashing my goal of 2lbs a week! I'm losing 2.3lbs a week :) I'm now down to 235.2lbs and as horrendous of a number as that is, and as mortifying as I am to put it out there I am freaking proud of myself. 

Each pound that falls off I vow never to let myself get this way again. My anxiety has gone from multiple daily severe panic attacks to once a week to once every two weeks having the feeling of anxiety when it is appropriate. I have been sleeping better and snoring less!! (Which Tim is SO happy about lol) I will keep everyone updated on my journey and May even start a weight loss blog with my meals and progress.