It's not that we don't have almost everything we need. The only things we absolutely need to bring them home are more preemie and newborn diapers, some more all in one cloth diapers, a few more preemie and definitely newborn outfits, 0-3mo mam pacifiers, and some bottles made for breasted babies just in case. And we need to figure out how to get a van on our one income so we can take all of our children to places together, at this point we'd have to take two trips to go anywhere, which is virtually impossible.
I am panicking about the emotional and physical responsibility I'm going to have as a stay at home mom to these tree little men. I am scared of not having time to shower or eat, let alone to remember to change everyones bottoms, and when to feed them all, making time for myself to go to the bathroom, and sleep more then 2 hours a night while caring for all three.
I know I'm a strong woman and I just need to keep telling myself that. This fight with TTTS isn't over. We still only have a 65% chance of bringing both boys home after 4 weeks out of the womb even if we make it to 36 weeks. I know we will most likely have to face time away from the babies while they are in the nicu and have a fairly large chance of not bringing them home with us, as well as facing multiple health issues. I'm trying to stay positive here because these are going to be my last baby's, my last pregnancy. I am sort of depressed that it all happened so fast. It is sort of bittersweet knowing I will never hold babies inside my belly again. and that this pregnancy has been so full of complications.
I am at a point now at almost 29 weeks where I don't really have time to panic like this. I need to suck it up, face the reality I've made for myself and get this show on the road!
I still need to commission help to get the four boys room ready and purchase some shelving to try to organize the chaos that will so be! I have Rubbermaid tubs full of clothes everywhere, everything is stacked against the walls and inaccessible. I need to try to fit all three carseats into the station wagon to see if we will need help getting the little ones home when the time comes. I also want to make some freeze ahead crock pot meals so Tim, Ethan, and I aren't living off of frozen pizza for 6 months.
On a lighter note Ethan went to a cookout with my dads side of the family yesterday at lake taylorville. He saw his great grandparents for the first time since birth and got to encounter dogs larger then 10 lbs for the first time in his life. He seemed to have a good time! It was nice for me to get out of te apartment as well. It was probably the last outing besides doctors appointments I'll probably be able to partake in for a long time.
I'll soon have c-section recovery, Ethan, and two breastfed newborns. We will be housebound for quite some time!
Off to feed my little man lunch. After three gerber biscuits I think it's time for some real lunch.
Hey girl, Just saw your blog. Im not sure if you remember me or not, we went to high school together. I have a little one born the same day as Ethan. I just wanted to tell you that I am also a stay at home mom and am always willing to help you out. I can't imagine taking care of an 11 month old while pregnant with twins! I have a few babies I watch so moms can work. My little girl, Aria, loves other babies! My number is 217-899-9680. If you would like help let me know. I would feel awkward having someone I don't know too well helping with my baby so if it makes you feel any better I worked at a daycare for years. The owner is Sandi Tuener. She even hired me to nanny her newborn granddaughter when she was a baby. Her number is 217-483-2888 (just invade you would like a professional opinion on me with babies and children). Feel free to text or call for help. I'll try to make it work whenever possible.
ReplyDeleteOh, I didn't say my name. Whitney Clark in school but now I'm married, Whitney Curtis.
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